First World Problems: Birthday Blues

So I turn 19 on Thursday. *insert balloons here*

Search "Happy Birthday to me" on Google Images. You'll find a parade of narcissism.

Around our house, finances are a little tight right now. So, about a month ago, my mother (who I love dearly) asked me exactly what I've been eyeing for my birthday this year, so she can plan it.

I'm pretty sure I looked like this:

Antlers added

You see, I have absolutely no freaking clue what I want for my birthday. And no, that doesn't just mean presents. That means I dunno what I wanna do, where I wanna go, what I wanna do there, who I want to bring... I just came up with a great big blank.

As a kid, writing a birthday list was easier than stubbing my toe and crying about it for an hour.

This actually has become easier as I've grown up

I wanted a toy, some movie, some book, some game, another game, a private island, my two front teeth, my two back teeth, Asa's two front teeth (don't ask), A pet dog, cat, cow, snake, rat, mouse, fairy, and phoenix, a lifetime supply of Doritos,

But then again, who doesn't?

a scooter, a motorized scooter, a skateboard, a guitar, the next Percy Jackson book, and on and on and on the list goes. I had an itemized, alphabetized list, and I never once received cash.

So I wasn't this guy

But a crazy thing happened, Christmas two years ago. The time came to write a letter to that red bearded fat guy, and as I sat to write, I lost all feeling in my typing fingers. That little 1. sat in front of me, mocking me. You can have anything you want, Malachi. Anything. Just ask. Oh wait. You CAN'T. MUAHAHAHAHA.

"You appear to be writing a list. Would you like me to distract you?"

So that Christmas, I was all like

Except it was $1 bills

Because apparently, I hadn't hinted at subconsciously really really wanting a new skateboard or computer or anything at all. I was literally stumped as to what I wanted.

My next birthday rolls around, and I'm still all like

Using the same image twice in a row is bad form, people.

Because, yet again, I couldn't be bothered to think of anything I really, truthfully wanted. And this moved on to Christmas as well. And on and on and on.

So here I am now, trying desperately to give my parents some sort of hint as to what my heart desires. And that would be great, if my heart would give me a hint as to what it desires.

I just want whatever you want, Malachi.

I mean, I've thought of some things, sure. I dream of owning a DJ table and learning how to mix-and-scratch, but I don't have a music library anywhere near large enough to enjoy that without spending some serious dough. I'd love a copy of Injustice: Gods Among Us, except that I don't want it that much. Asa does. 

In case anyone wanted to know what he wants for Christmas, here it is.

And that's about it. Other than a gaming computer (which is never going to happen, just look at those prices) and a Yamaha Virago 450 (which is even less likely than the first one), there really sin't much I particularly want (and those two are more like dreams than actual requests. Don't do anything crazy, crazy people.)

My mom's response, since "You'll shoot your eye out" was taken

I'd love to end this off with some sort of deep, philosophical discovery (I'm maturing, I'm becoming an adult, I'm learning the value of people over things) or with some gratuitous self-praise (I don't care because I'm putting other's needs before my own, or something) but I just can't.

The truth is, I honestly don't know. Birthdays, presents, and parties no longer really matter to me. I don't know if this means I'm maturing or if I'm just turning into a social recluse. I am pretty content with what I have, and I really don't feel like any materialistic thing is going to make me any happier than I already am.

So no, I don't want anything more from you on my birthday than possibly a prayer and a "happy birthday, Malachi" if you remember. I'm perfectly happy with what I have. I won't turn gifts away, but if I invite you over to hang out or you see me sometime soon, don't feel bad if you don't have anything. Just talk with me for a bit. That's enough for me.

A big thanks to you for being in my life!

I hope that I have many more birthdays to come. I love all of you. Whether or not you remember my birthday doesn't matter to me. Heck, I'm in danger of forgetting it myself.

Have a blessed day, all of you. Expect another post sooner or later.

Signing off,

Malachi

Getting back into the swing of things

Hi! How are you?

Last time I posted to this was over a year ago. That's, like, two years too long.

I'm rectifying this. Right here. Right now.

I'M BACK, SUCKAS. MALACHI'S BLOG RIDES AGAIN!

So I'm doing away with the weekly thing that I promised a while ago. Instead, I'm gonna do short, sweet posts on random subjects whenever the Muse graces me with her presence.

Generally, though, the muses just sing Gospel music at me. Really loudly.

For example, take my next post with the serious first world problem every almost-adult has faced, which is gonna be uploaded, like, right now.

Consider this the first of many short, small little tidbits of my mind. I suspect no one will really read this, but that's okay. I am doing this mostly for myself. I do this to pretend like people care about me.

This is a meme, folks. I use them a lot around here.

That's all for now. Be sure to stick around for later updates, which will come haphazardly. Signing off:
Malachi A. Gonzalez

Weekly Roundup: The Snow is gone, but the Cold remains

Hey guys! Weekly roundup time! You know, that thing I promised almost a year ago but have never actually done? Yeah, that thing.

This week has been a week that started out awesome, and slowly degraded from there. Last week at this time there was snow EVERYWHERE, and it was awesome. No, like seriously. You know that song about a winter wonderland (that we were not allowed to sing, by the way), and how it talks about the snow being so beautiful? Yeah, it was rendered useless by just how gorgeous this snow actually was.

Oh, I'm in this picture. I'm actually right beneath them, under the snow (why do you think they're laughing so hard?)

Last weekend was just awesome. We got snowed in with a few relatives, who were definitely up for a party. I played some Call of Duty (or as I call it, Quickscoped some n00bs), and we all played a lot of poker. It was a blast.

So picture this. It's two in the morning, and you are doing what most normal human beings are doing at two in the morning: sleeping. You're dream-self is about to bite into the largest cheeseburger in the world, when suddenly you are rudely yanked out of la-la land by a knock at the door.

Grumbling something about McDonalds, you slowly stumble out of bead, you're hair is a mess, and you throw on some real clothes (PJ's don't count) and slog to the door.

Upon opening it, you see this:

Dramatization.

There's a lady at your door completely stuck in the snow. Apparently her 4-wheel drive Honda had never seen snow before (this is Oregon, after all) and just decided to stop in out cul-de-sac and look around for a bit. Can't say that I blame it.

So there my parents are, trying to push this lady out of the snow, as she madly spins her wheels trying desperately to get some traction. Eventually something must have worked, because last time I checked our street was pretty Honda-less.

Saddest story ever: By Tuesday, the snow was all:

Some people are worth melting for

so my Philosophy teacher could tell us all (with that smug grin only Philosophy teachers have) that he was going to hold class. Pfft. Class.

After a few hours of sitting in a stiff chair doing my best impersonation of The Thinker, I was told the midterm will be a take-home test, to be done over a week.

Note: Don't do this in class. You get funny looks.

And that's when it was time for dance.

A note for anyone reading this, I like dance. No, wait, scratch that. I love dance. Like, seriously, I love it. So when I'm with a partner who loves it just as much as I do, that's something special. Those are the best dances.

We find out our partners next week. I'm crossing my fingers! There are a lot of girls I would have a blast dancing with, and a few... not so much.

But on to the FAIL OF THE WEEK: So we were approaching the end of dance. I was dog-tired and sweaty as all heck. Like: I was tired. We had worked really, really hard throughout the entire dance.

So when I was dancing with my last partner (who is awesome by the way), we decided to do the easiest lift. The problem with the easiest lift in the dance is that it is lightning-fast, and you almost don't have time to recover.

We get to that part. I look at her and nod. She goes for it. I try to move. And then... and then...

I let her slip right through my fingers!

Boom. On the ground.

Now, she wasn't hurt or anything. Fortunately, I cushioned her fall (by using the hand-hold to break it) and we recovered, trying our hardest not to laugh. But, here's the truth, it's a matter of pride that a guy should never, ever drop a girl.

See, when a lift goes wrong, the girl is the one who gets hurt (most of the time). And despite the fact that most lifts are equally difficult for the guy and the girl, the danger is very lopsided. When the girl drops, no matter how "fine" she is, the guy's heart feels like it is going to give out on him.

Another thing about it is that, due to guys hyper-analyzing girls (we do it sometimes), we become afraid that the girl being dropped will be interpreted to mean that either:

A: The girl is fat (Never the reason)

or B: The guy is weak (rarely the reason).

Of course, simple logic will show that neither of those means anything. It doesn't matter if the girl weighs 110 or 500, if she can hold herself up and use the right mechanics any guy with an ounce of strength can lift her, and those mechanics only come with practice. And the same goes for the guys. I don't go to the gym or even exercise outside of dance and an occasional game of b-ball, and even I have yet to find a (reasonable) lift I can't do.

So the guys are so scared that the will get hurt (physically or mentally). I have seen people get hurt on more dangerous lifts (but the one I did was pretty safe), and I have never seen a girl come out of it blaming herself or the guy. Messing up a lift is something that happens, and every time it does is one more time to know what not to do.

I'm sick again.

Like, seriously. WHY? I just got over a cold, and now, again, I am calling mother "Bawb" and wheezing. Had to miss Wednesday Bible Study, Thursday dance, and life in general. Yeah, it sucks being sick. Just say NO! to viruses, kids! Only you can prevent wildfires!

In other news, Valentine's day (or, as it is colloquially known as on Facebook, Single Awareness Day) has come and gone again.

As a result of my forever alone-ness (no applications please, ladies), I ended us babysitting while my Dad pulled out all the stops for a romantic Valentine's dinner. They had Ribeye steak and Ahi tuna, and Flan and cupcakes... but you know what?

Signing off, ladies and gentlemen! See you later!

Ranting about dance, TotS, and other junk. (Archive from May 2013)

So today I was sitting in class with a killer headache and a wandering mind. Class was good (though it seems to be more of a History of Slavery than a History of the United States so far) but I had a thought occur to me.

I should be posting in my blog!

So, here I am, posting for no one in particular. I guess that makes my blog a kind of personal journal. Oh well.

Anyway, about my week. I love dance practice (Thursday was AWESOME) and am having a blast. For those of you who don't know I am involved with Ballroom Dance on the InMotion Dance Team. It is one of the best parts of my week and I love it so much.

One thing that bugs me, though, are the attitudes of some of the dancers. Now, I ain't namin' no names, but suffice it to say that a good number of people on the team don't give it their a-game. My partners have all been awesome, but I know a few people who...

My Thursdays

Yeah. Kinda.

The saddest thing is that the instructors put in so much time and effort into the team that I am constantly amazed. Take it from someone who knows, choreographing a dance is NOT easy. I find myself banging my head against the wall after five minutes of looking at dance charts.

A dance I once choreographed

So, yeah. Not easy. On top of that, you have costumes that need to be sewed, venues that need to be booked (and dancers who need to be informed of performances) and extra practices. It is not an easy endevour, let me tell you.

So it still makes me a little sad that kids are complaining about not liking this dance or that move. The teachers are pouring their life and soul into this team. Please respect that!

...

...

Sorry, I was really venting there. Let me change the subject.

I am currently helping to direct a play. While this is super-fantabulous (Taming of the Shrew opens in two weeks!) it is very busy as well. I love the director (who is also pouring her heart and soul into the play) and the actors, but the work is warming up. It always gets like this in the last two weeks, and I'm not complaining, but right now I feel like

Monday!

School is skool, I suppose. I am doing great in my classes, and having a good time.

So, ttfn! See you next time!

Hey guys!

Take a look at my new blog!



No, seriously, this blog will be a lot of fun. Here I will do a couple of things. I shall chronicle my week (in a quik 'weekly round-up') on Saturdays), write reviews of places I go and narratives of things I do, and sometimes write my own personal thoughts on fancy-shmancy politicking and matters of public interest. Because this is primarily a personal blog, however, I will make sure to label those rare posts as such and try to keep them off the main thread.

Feel free to comment, like, and subscribe, but the purpose of this blog is for me to grow as a writer, not get super famous and take over the world (though, now that I say it out loud, that sounds like a good idea). If you really enjoy my posts I will not stop you from reading them, but you won't catch me advertising for this blog, and I don't expect you to either.


Oh yeah. The world shall be mine!

Hope you like my posts!