First World Problems: Birthday Blues

So I turn 19 on Thursday. *insert balloons here*

Search "Happy Birthday to me" on Google Images. You'll find a parade of narcissism.

Around our house, finances are a little tight right now. So, about a month ago, my mother (who I love dearly) asked me exactly what I've been eyeing for my birthday this year, so she can plan it.

I'm pretty sure I looked like this:

Antlers added

You see, I have absolutely no freaking clue what I want for my birthday. And no, that doesn't just mean presents. That means I dunno what I wanna do, where I wanna go, what I wanna do there, who I want to bring... I just came up with a great big blank.

As a kid, writing a birthday list was easier than stubbing my toe and crying about it for an hour.

This actually has become easier as I've grown up

I wanted a toy, some movie, some book, some game, another game, a private island, my two front teeth, my two back teeth, Asa's two front teeth (don't ask), A pet dog, cat, cow, snake, rat, mouse, fairy, and phoenix, a lifetime supply of Doritos,

But then again, who doesn't?

a scooter, a motorized scooter, a skateboard, a guitar, the next Percy Jackson book, and on and on and on the list goes. I had an itemized, alphabetized list, and I never once received cash.

So I wasn't this guy

But a crazy thing happened, Christmas two years ago. The time came to write a letter to that red bearded fat guy, and as I sat to write, I lost all feeling in my typing fingers. That little 1. sat in front of me, mocking me. You can have anything you want, Malachi. Anything. Just ask. Oh wait. You CAN'T. MUAHAHAHAHA.

"You appear to be writing a list. Would you like me to distract you?"

So that Christmas, I was all like

Except it was $1 bills

Because apparently, I hadn't hinted at subconsciously really really wanting a new skateboard or computer or anything at all. I was literally stumped as to what I wanted.

My next birthday rolls around, and I'm still all like

Using the same image twice in a row is bad form, people.

Because, yet again, I couldn't be bothered to think of anything I really, truthfully wanted. And this moved on to Christmas as well. And on and on and on.

So here I am now, trying desperately to give my parents some sort of hint as to what my heart desires. And that would be great, if my heart would give me a hint as to what it desires.

I just want whatever you want, Malachi.

I mean, I've thought of some things, sure. I dream of owning a DJ table and learning how to mix-and-scratch, but I don't have a music library anywhere near large enough to enjoy that without spending some serious dough. I'd love a copy of Injustice: Gods Among Us, except that I don't want it that much. Asa does. 

In case anyone wanted to know what he wants for Christmas, here it is.

And that's about it. Other than a gaming computer (which is never going to happen, just look at those prices) and a Yamaha Virago 450 (which is even less likely than the first one), there really sin't much I particularly want (and those two are more like dreams than actual requests. Don't do anything crazy, crazy people.)

My mom's response, since "You'll shoot your eye out" was taken

I'd love to end this off with some sort of deep, philosophical discovery (I'm maturing, I'm becoming an adult, I'm learning the value of people over things) or with some gratuitous self-praise (I don't care because I'm putting other's needs before my own, or something) but I just can't.

The truth is, I honestly don't know. Birthdays, presents, and parties no longer really matter to me. I don't know if this means I'm maturing or if I'm just turning into a social recluse. I am pretty content with what I have, and I really don't feel like any materialistic thing is going to make me any happier than I already am.

So no, I don't want anything more from you on my birthday than possibly a prayer and a "happy birthday, Malachi" if you remember. I'm perfectly happy with what I have. I won't turn gifts away, but if I invite you over to hang out or you see me sometime soon, don't feel bad if you don't have anything. Just talk with me for a bit. That's enough for me.

A big thanks to you for being in my life!

I hope that I have many more birthdays to come. I love all of you. Whether or not you remember my birthday doesn't matter to me. Heck, I'm in danger of forgetting it myself.

Have a blessed day, all of you. Expect another post sooner or later.

Signing off,

Malachi